Dumb and dumber - weights, measures and language

 
  YM-Mundrabilla The Ghost of George Stephenson

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
Language this time.

Reported today - a guru of the HR industry says we are all looking for "self-actualisation". I had no idea that's what I'm doing.
Valvegear
Is that an HR term for masturbation or have I confused 'self-actualisation' with 'self-actuation'?Rolling Eyes

Never had a lot if time for HR.Twisted Evil

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  michaelgm Chief Commissioner

Language this time.

Reported today - a guru of the HR industry says we are all looking for "self-actualisation". I had no idea that's what I'm doing.
Ah, the HR department. Often the department that determines other peoples future.
I’d seriously take great pleasure, taking control of a company and punting HR section first.
Cop that, self-actualisation.
Never be under the illusion that HR are there to support the workforce, they are NOT your friend.
The most sycophantic part of any corporation.
Lockspike
Had the pleasure of dealing with a compassionate and sympathetic young lady in HR.
She got the flick.
  YM-Mundrabilla The Ghost of George Stephenson

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
Language this time.

Reported today - a guru of the HR industry says we are all looking for "self-actualisation". I had no idea that's what I'm doing.
Ah, the HR department. Often the department that determines other peoples future.
I’d seriously take great pleasure, taking control of a company and punting HR section first.
Cop that, self-actualisation.
Never be under the illusion that HR are there to support the workforce, they are NOT your friend.
The most sycophantic part of any corporation.
Had the pleasure of dealing with a compassionate and sympathetic young lady in HR.
She got the flick.
michaelgm
Are there any males in HR these days or is HR now a sole preserve for females.
  Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

Location: Richmond Vic
Never be under the illusion that HR are there to support the workforce, they are NOT your friend.
"Lockspike"
The title says it all.  To me, the title actually de-humanises the entire department - you're not a human being, just some form of possibly useful entity. "Human Resources", to be used and discarded like an outdated computer or chair that's lost its padding.
  Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

Location: Richmond Vic
According to Nine News an asteroid "three times the size of the Empire State Building" is going to pass by earth "at a speed of 19.56 km/sec".

Nice to see that one measurement at least had an attempt at accuracy. Too bad about the dimensions.
  SinickleBird Assistant Commissioner

Location: Qantas Club at Mudgee International Airport
They couldn’t find a way to translate 19.56km/sec into multiples of the velocity of a bullet train.

Or an Olympic swimming pool.
  Aaron The Ghost of George Stephenson

Location: University of Adelaide SA
Are there any males in HR these days or is HR now a sole preserve for females.
YM-Mundrabilla
Toby Flenderson is the only one that springs to mind, though he is a bit of a woman.

HR is just another one of those ‘soft’ unaccountable managerial roles that seem to be rapidly dished out to women. The HR manager that ‘looks after’ our building is certainly useless. She took 12 weeks to resolve my last pay claim, and even then it was likely only solved by me going well above her head in the chain to make it rain with my money - and then they managed to bill me $1540 tax for the fortnight…
  Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

Location: Richmond Vic
Some years ago, someone wrote that the BBC was, " . . . off to a flying stop."
  YM-Mundrabilla The Ghost of George Stephenson

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
How often does one hear:
  • 'Couldn't find nothing' (anything)?
  • 'For free' (Free)
  • 'Outside of the house' (Outside the house)
  • 'Home' when they mean 'house'.
It is, sadly, becoming fashionable to be seen as ill-educated.
  BigShunter Chief Commissioner

Location: St Clair. S.A.
And here's one from the news thread.

Two new stations will also be developed at Pakenham and East Pakenham, along with six MCGs worth of new open space for locals to enjoy.

https://www.railpage.com.au/news/s/contract-signed-for-removal-of-more-level-crossings-on-pakenham-line

Also YM, how often do you hear someone saying, I myself ? Doesn't I mean me and myself is me ?

BigShunter.

6 mcg's would equate to ? hectares acres roods perches Shocked
  Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

Location: Richmond Vic
6 mcg's would equate to ? hectares acres roods perches
"BigShunter"
A lot of Olympic Swimming Pools.
  SinickleBird Assistant Commissioner

Location: Qantas Club at Mudgee International Airport
6 MCG’s - that’s a lot of grandstands in the outer suburbs.
  YM-Mundrabilla The Ghost of George Stephenson

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
6 MCG’s - that’s a lot of grandstands in the outer suburbs.
SinickleBird
Grandstands are measured in double decker busses.Smile
  Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

Location: Richmond Vic
Two new stations will also be developed at Pakenham and East Pakenham, along with six MCGs worth of new open space for locals to enjoy.
"BigShunter"
Is it six MCG's worth of space, or six MCG's worth of dollars?
  YM-Mundrabilla The Ghost of George Stephenson

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
Two media revelations today:

3AW news this morning 24/1. 'House prices are rising at $19/hour or $1,000/day.' I hadn't realised that there are 52.6315789473 hours in a day.Rolling Eyes
TV advert features a garden hose which is spraying/leaking water at the connection between the tap and the hose. Not to worry - clever dick armed with a Stillson wrench arrives, loosens the connection and the leak stops! Rolling Eyes
  Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

Location: Richmond Vic
Nine News again:-  "One of Australia's largest solar farms has been opened at Melbourne Airport, spanning the size of 26 football fields.
The solar farm is being used to fuel the operations of all four terminals at the international airport."

(What football code?)
  Graham4405 The Ghost of George Stephenson

Location: In exile
Nine News again:-  "One of Australia's largest solar farms has been opened at Melbourne Airport, spanning the size of 26 football fields.
The solar farm is being used to fuel the operations of all four terminals at the international airport."

(What football code?)
Valvegear
Or perhaps how big is the field where they grow the footballs? Laughing
  YM-Mundrabilla The Ghost of George Stephenson

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
What is the conversion factor between 'football fields' and 'cricket grounds'?
  Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

Location: Richmond Vic
What is the conversion factor between 'football fields' and 'cricket grounds'?
"YM-Mundrabilla"
Goalposts.
  Valvegear Oliver Bullied, CME

Location: Richmond Vic
Another bit of wisdom from Nine:-
“By the time Mr. Cade had arrived to remove the snake from the house in Edmondson Park, in Sydney's south west, it had managed to slip between a concrete retaining wall.”

How in the name of Mazeppa does anything slip between a wall?
  YM-Mundrabilla The Ghost of George Stephenson

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
  GrahamH Chief Commissioner

Location: At a terminal on the www.
Yesterday morning I was informed by ABC radio's AM news program that the Dow Jones index was up a smidge.
  YM-Mundrabilla The Ghost of George Stephenson

Location: Mundrabilla but I'd rather be in Narvik
Yesterday morning I was informed by ABC radio's AM news program that the Dow Jones index was up a smidge.
GrahamH
Better or worse that a bee's dick?
  GrahamH Chief Commissioner

Location: At a terminal on the www.
Yesterday morning I was informed by ABC radio's AM news program that the Dow Jones index was up a smidge.
Better or worse that a bee's dick?
YM-Mundrabilla
I don't know, sorry. I think I know what they mean when they say 30 points or 57 points, well every one here knows what points are don't we?

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