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CATCHING a train seems simple enough, yet so many people get it all wrong.
Take this guy for example, who was fined $700 for receiving oral sex on a train heading to Wollongong.
His explanation? “What man would have knocked it back?”
Not everyone is having sex on a train, but train etiquette is something that a lot of commuters get wrong.
I’ve devised simple train etiquette that we all should follow.
If everyone followed these simple rules, the world would be a better place.
If the carriage is pretty much empty, don’t be a creep and sit right next to someone on a two-seater.
Also anyone who sits in the aisle seat of a three-seater with the other two seats empty — thus blocking others from sitting down — are simply revealing themselves to being rude and inconsiderate.
If you are going to do this, at least have the decency to stand when people want to sit in the two empty seats, rather than the half shuffle of your legs while you stay seated.
You’re already a bad person, so don’t make it worse.
BLOCKING A SEAT
If a train gets busy, you may just have to move that bag off the seat next to you so another human can sit down.
Don’t groan or sigh when the person asks if they can sit there. In fact, move your bloody bag and show some manners so the person doesn’t need to ask.
LISTENING TO MUSIC OR PLAYING GAMES
Headphones in if you’re listening to music. You might like Ed Sheeran, but not everyone else does.
The same goes for if you’re playing some lame nerd game that has annoying sounds. No one cares if you’re on level 23 of Candy Crush or god-knows-what. Just play a simple game like Snake, but not that bastardised sequel Snake II.
Try to avoid making a call on the train. You’re really not that important that you can’t wait until you get home.
But if you must, try and keep it short and don’t yell.
No one else cares about how Cheryl from marketing doesn’t put her coffee cup in the dishwasher.
Expert tip: If someone is having a conversation and you want to listen, simply press pause on that cool Nickelback track you’re listening to and keep your headphones in. You hear every juicy detail without the fear of the tracksuited individual yelling: “What are you listening to, c**t?”
Now remember guys, wait until everyone gets off before you try to get on.Source:News Corp Australia
GETTING ON A TRAIN
Why do idiots stand directly in front of the door on the platform so others can’t get off?
Can they not work out that if they stand to the side people can get off quicker and therefore you get on quicker?
The real problem here is that one idiot who clearly can’t wait for others to get off. That leads to a domino effect of others barging through, petrified they’ll miss out on that plum seat.
Deodorant is not optional, it’s a requirement.
Always sit on the top deck of the two-deck Sydney trains — it’s a better view.
Barry Ashworth is a seasoned commuter. You can discuss any of these rules with him on a Sydney train. He’ll be the one following all of the above rules listening to that smooth easy listening rock from Nickelback at an acceptable level through his earphones.
This article first appeared on www.news.com.au
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